A sneak peek inside my feelings.

It is a pleasure to be writing this here instead of my journal and it is a pleasure to have a sort of active blog. Five years ago I wanted to be someone who has a blog and ta-da!

I am writing this blog post for myself above everything else, I want it to serve as a reminder of how I feel today and how I want to feel going forward. Today I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to be surrounded by love, I am grateful that I have hope, I am grateful that I believe in myself a little more than I did yesterday, the list is endless and you get the gist of it- I am grateful.

A day or two ago one of my favorite YouTubers Qhawekazi was talking about that "surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life"verse and she touched on it a little bit. My relationship with God is not the best yet. It makes me angry at times but that's not the point right now. When she was talking, she said God is an intentional God and His intention is to love us. It hit me a bit because as much as I always look back and acknowledge certain things in my life, I needed that reminder from someone I can relate to. She reminded me that I don't need to do anything to qualify for God's goodness, I already qualify. I already deserve goodness,  I deserve prosperity, I deserve a good life all of the days of my life. At each and every single moment of my life, God's intention for my life is good and it is love. I will dwell in Love for ever. I hope that makes sense.

Nkele once posted this: "Some are going to say I was lucky, but I was just prepared and the opportunity presented itself."

I love what she said because success is not a coincidence, success is a result of work and I want to approach things differently and be a bit more strong and intentional in certain parts of my life. 

Life requires you to constantly evaluate everything and how it contributes to your growth. Recently I have been overthinking about responsibility, thinking about how am I showing up to things/people I have been blessed with. This goes all the way to this blog by the way, I wanted it and now I have it but am I showing up to it? Am I honoring it? That has been a thought in my head for a week or two now and as I daily try to recognise my blessings, I show up and do my part. I asked for it, now it's here.

I don't want this to be a long post but I am glad that I wrote this and it will be uploaded. I hope that when you read it, you get something. If there is anything I want you to get is that you are responsible for your life, whatever you choose to do, will reflect on your life and you only have you to point a finger at.

These are things I want to remember as I start a new year in my life.

Here's to goodness and mercy following me all the days of my life. 🥂🥂

Thank you for always supporting me, stay awesome!💗

Love:

Ayanda B Msomi